The Beginning of Another Beginning...

To quote Steve Miller;

Some people call me the Space Cowboy, some call me the Gangster of Love.

Some people call me Maurice, Cause' I speak of the pompetous of love...

This is an approximate visualization of the
inner me.

I've been many things over the years, none of that which defines me as a whole. I've had more jobs than apartments, more apartments than relationships. I've gone from getting trophies to getting cancer. I've been bankrupt 2x over and owned my own house. I've fought and lost more times than I have fought and won. I've created memories that will be mine alone and shared memories with others who may not remember things the way I do. I've met great friends and lost great friends. They, like the scenery around me is ever-changing. And I am grateful for every one I have met, and every one that is still with me. I am grateful for every view I have seen, every laugh that has come my way.

I've been on adventures and not-adventures, outward discoveries and wayward inflections. I have fleeting images that remind me of how small I am, of how different the world can be, of the fun of being high in my twenties and the fun of actually being a Space Cowboy, if for just one night.

I'm older now and am still chasing a stability that may never come. As the years come quicker, I am surprised by the me I now present to the outside world. Ten years ago I had cancer and did not expect to live past forty. Yet, in five short years I have become a father two times over with a third soon on the way. I still pursue a dream of being an author and have not let that dream die but just adapted so my life will fit it. I am past forty and wasn't expecting that to happen, nor to soon have 4 other lives to care for and to love. 

I am now pursuing another career; being a mortgage broker. I don't know how this will go but this is where I hope to write about this and other things wonderful on this blog site, a compliment to the other one, I hope. If this is your first read here, welcome. It's good to make new friends and readers. 

Major Life Spoiler

During my years I have been hired and fired and pursued dreams more times than I have fingers and toes. I have striven to find the ideal career and the ideal mate. I have been lucky enough to fall in love three times, with this last love being my best and greatest friend. I waited 15 years for her to come into my life and I don't know where I would be now if it wasn't for her. 

She is staying beside me while I struggle to complete this hopefully final piece that will make me whole.  I know I am difficult sometimes. I believe life shouldn't be this hard for I know I have it better than most but I struggle. I struggle to maintain balance in a world that shows if you care too much, you will lose more than you win. I have a beautiful, beautiful daughter that keeps me in the now and a son that is growing up without me. I will soon have a third little one that will need diapers changed and formula heated and soft lullabies at night and I realize that I have a few more years of mind-numbing children's TV and early nights and cuddles on couch and for that I couldn't be happier.

Plus, there is always the bacon. 

DO NOT HOLD HOT BACON!